Musings.

Settling.

Settling_1UPPER EAST SIDE, MANHATTAN.

Warning: ‘diary entry’ below.

‘Tis the season! I spent most of this late morning/afternoon at my big sis Lauren’s apartment in Washington Heights (she’ll tell you it’s called ‘WaHi.’ Don’t listen to her. It’s nonsense.) listening to Christmas music, with a cup of coffee, and baking/ frosting sugar cookies to get into the holiday spirit. After a… relatively rough Saturday night for us both, it was very relaxing to be able to sit in a comfortable silence with someone – holiday spirit in tow.

If only I could fit our sisterhood into one novel… let alone one blog post…it’s at least a triology and still in the making! In a (chest)nut-shell, she is without a doubt, one of the strongest elements of my foundation. I would – literally – not be here without her.

Sipping my coffee (or licking frosting off my hands… or vacillating between eating a star or the candy cane or the mitten or the odd angel…) and looking around her apartment, I felt a little bit jealous. Considering myself a ‘local’ for the past seven years, if you were to walk into my room and hers, you wouldn’t believe that I’ve been settled in this state almost twice as long as she has.

From perfectly color-coordinated furniture to organized bills, my big sis is easily one of the most put-together women I know. I couldn’t help but be bothered as to why, as an almost-25 year old, I didn’t and couldn’t feel the same.

– – –

Catching up on Peter Pan Live! (which I clearly missed last Thursday), I thought about how much I love, love, love J.M. Barrie’s story, and the phenomenal run ‘Peter and the Starcatcher’ had on Broadway a few years back.

Then I realized ‘a few years back’ meant two years ago. Hils and I saw the play… two years ago.

Which made me realize I’ve been living in this current apartment for almost two years.

– – –

It’s a known fact that there is a very obvious love-hate relationship most natives and locals alike have with one of the greatest cities in the world. (Let’s be honest, as much as I love Boston and San Francisco… can you get from one point of the city to the other (e.g., the Bronx to the 9/11 memorial) on 2.50$ ? I think not.) You compromise the insufferable tourists, crappy MTA weekend schedules, and heinously high prices for the most incredibly food and food options, museums, the LIGHTS, and just experience alone.

Since moving to New York in ’08, I have never lived in the same place for more than a year – which I guess you can attribute to my inability to feel completely settled in any apartment here. That, and the fact that I miss home & California so much it aches sometimes. And maybe the fact that I always knew that I was going to leave, no matter how hard I fell.

Because of this, I’ve been unable to really commit to anything, any apartment, any ONE for that matter. Cue the mismatched bedding, decor & random kitchen staples.

It just makes me wonder — how does one decide that they are going to ‘settle’ where they are? Even if it’s just for a year or two or five?

 

xx

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