Leftover women changing destiny.
For Pt I & for self.
Despite launching last year, Prestige International skin care brand SK-ll’s campaign for China’s unmarried women at 25 has gone viral over the past week.
A few years ago, my sister sent me a Huffington Post story about love: to love yourself and love the life you live—
And [Dan] Savage offers this piece of advice: “I think the best thing for you to do is just live your life. Live a life that’s worth living, one where you do what you want to do, pursue your passions. That way, if you meet someone, they’ll be joining a life that’s already really good. And if you don’t meet anyone, you can still look back at the end and say, ‘You know what: I lived a really great life.’”
[Will] Kors says, “Makes sense.”
Savage continues, “Keep going on dates. And don’t get bitter, either about women or the dating process. … Life doesn’t owe you anything, and I think it’s up to all of us to go out and create a fulfilling life for ourselves. Like, my husband Terry, he left the house an hour ago. We have a life together. But if he never comes back, I still need to have something here, a life of my own, one that’s fulfilling in itself.“
There it is, folks. In a nutshell. The best – and often hardest to listen to and actually LIVE – dating / relationship advice ever.
Kind of pathetic that my Marine Corps officer of a sister – a girl who faces the chance that she might be involved in the craziness happening over in the Middle East or Asia every other day – was telling her older sister that she should be worrying less about ‘living life alone,’ and more about ‘living life.’
But New York City is notorious for breeding loneliness. Take it from someone who’s learned. And when self-confidence and self-love doesn’t come easy – what a predicament my 22-year-old self found herself in.
I thought of Savage’s story when I watched SK-II’s #changedestiny video – except, these women are having their self-worth dictated not by self-generated, disabling thoughts or negative self-reflections, but through their parents!
“For her to not be married would be equivalent to me getting heart disease.”
In Chinese culture – or most Asian cultures, really – the golden rule reads: honor and respect your parents. Subsequently: find yourself a husband by the time you’re 25 so you are capitalizing on youth, beauty, and fertility.
Clearly breaking the rules here since I missed that ‘married by 25’ concept by 2 months. My bad.
Still, the ad ends on an empowering & enlightening note: women finding their voice. Self-purpose is not defined by relationship status. Self-worth is not measured by love of another, but by recognition of your own value.
Easier said than done; however, while New York taught me the true meaning of loneliness, it simultaneously taught me how to be independent and self-reliant. At the end of the day, the only thing you have in your control is yourself and your actions. Make them count.
#Blessed with the best parents God could create, my mom always tells me, ‘Life is like a train. At every stop or station, some people get on and some people get off; but you’re the driver – you just keep going.’
To my 22-year-old self, the leftovers, and to every woman – especially those who are frightened of loneliness – live your life. Design a life that you love, because everyone and everything will come and go as they please. Live life so that when, and not if, the latter happens, you can still look back and say, ‘You know what, I lived a really good life.’