NEW YORK, USA & OKINAWA, JAPAN.
10 AM EST: FaceTiming with sis & bro celebrating 2017 in Japan as we’re waking up to the last day of 2016. Life still sends little amazing moments every now & then.
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It’s been a year since the inauguration of EYEWINKED*, and what a year it has been! I must admit, that even in the midst of the perils, 2016 was very, very kind to me.
Over the past year, I’ve definitely endured some growing pains: moving out of a home I shared with the same person for eight years, watching my brother be accepted into his college of choice since he was seven, gaining a brother. I’ve lost friends, made new ones, and am still accepting that the workplace is where you grow your career and not your circles. I’ve grown accustom to recognize who encourages you, who stands by you, and who doesn’t – and that life moves on with or without you. Others grow and move on, with or without you. I’ve been taught that pushing injuries results in not finishing a half marathon, again. I’ve realized that being home for the holidays is not a right, but a privilege; and I’ve learned that sometimes, we must – must – make hard choices because they are the right ones.
While there is still room to grow, I have much to be grateful for. I rang in 2016 with some of my most favorite people in a mansion full of SEALS. I’ve gotten stronger (literally and figuratively), taken chances, and bought an adult-sized couch. I purchased my first case(s) of wine from my favorite winery. I’ve traveled solo and experienced Japan (not solo), seen Adele in concert, and rented my first car in Manhattan. I sat and binged on chips, fifteen minutes away from the SuperBowl stadium. I watched my best friend try on wedding dresses. I hiked up to the Hollywood sign. I sort of experienced the Final Four tournament and sat in the presence of the queen herself, Ms. J.K. Rowling (not simultaneously). I’ve signed up for new credit cards and sophisticated my wardrobe (read: seriously attempted to) by adding a splash of Orange. I finally saw Wicked on Broadway! I can officially say I’ve driven down the California coast and remember every minute of it. I’ve witnessed nearly ten friends and family start new chapters with their persons. I’ve started a several new chapters with my person. I was handed blessings that I may or may not have fully deserved and lived life outside of my box.
A few years ago, my sister sent me a magazine clipping titled, ‘Be fearless.’ Enclosed was also a note, encouraging me to be fearless and take risks. It soon became my mantra for the year – a theme for a New Years’ resolution, if you will. Since then, instead of listing out ‘resolutions,’ I’ve decided on a theme and attempted to honor that theme over 12 months.
2016 was about love: love yourself, be loved, love others. Love yourself will always be a personal challenge, but learning the strengths and weaknesses through my injury rehab has been very eye opening. It’s about taking care of your body, and not pushing to to its limits day in and day out. Letting myself be loved was an understatement. I think I’ve been more loved this past year than I ever thought possible. To let go of past demons (that still occasionally surface), allow myself to be vulnerable, and take a chance one February night – thanks to two very, very encouraging friends – was the best risk I think I’ll ever make. Because I learned to let my walls down, I’m living a love I never thought possible. And to love others is part of my make-up. To try and see the good in others, even when I pretty much hate the city population, is a FEAT. NYC, I will not let you shrivel my heart (so help me).
I am leaving 2016 behind blissfully happy and inspired to keep it going! This year I resolve to focus on being happy. In other words, I resolve to consciously choose happiness. I resolve to go to the gym when I want, eat what I want, wear what I feel pretty in. I resolve to eat dessert if I so desire, or abstain if I don’t. I resolve to spend as many Sundays boozy brunching and/or watching football as deemed necessary. I resolve to try new restaurants in the neighborhood and test as many new recipes I’ve Pinned at home. I resolve to achieve a palette that allows me to have an opinion on wines and coffees. I resolve (or maybe Joe resolves) that our refrigerator to be always stocked with butter so I can bake at any given moment. I resolve to have as many rest days as needed to defeat this hiatus from running. I resolve to wear glitter as often as I want and sprinkle it everywhere. I resolve to be happy.
I spend a lot – bolded & underlined – of time worrying about other people, what they think, how happy they are. And to my own fault, I spend a lot of time figuring out how to make them happy – regardless if its in my control or not. For once, for once, I resolve to prioritize me. And
yes no, I don’t care how selfish that sounds. As I am always told, if you don’t love yourself, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will? How do you show compassion for others when you can’t show it to yourself? Spending 46 weeks in 2016 documenting five little moments of happiness was a start, and I think 2017 begins the sprint to the finish line.
And to all of you in 2017: I also wish for your happiness and for you to be able to focus on your well-being. I wish for us to have the capacity, ability, and support to focus on our own well-beings. There is enough in this world to worry about, and I think the one thing we have most control over is how we take care of ourselves. I wish for positive thoughts, body love, consistent indulgences, and self care because really, it’s only life.
To entering 2017 with open hearts and raised bubbly, Happy New Year!
all my love; xx